ARG
ARg!! so frustrating !!! HIaz.... The proccess of growing is so hard !!! HIaz.. I so wana give up.. i so wana thown in the towel... But i know what i want to live for.. i know what i want in my life.. i'm willing ..to give up everything.. but.. but but... i'm just.... I just can't... i'm just so.. weak..
Give me one night.. Just one night.. speak to me.. teach me guild me mould me.. i really want to be the person u have created me to be... its tough, i don't know if i can make it.. i don't know if i will give up.. but all that i want to do know is i want to give my best.. Give me some time.. to settle down my thoughts.. give me some time.. give me one night.. just an hour to sort out my thinking...
I still remember.. U R Y i do what i do.. U R the reason i live.. i'm going to take up the cross.. thats my commitment to you.. why? because you first loved me.. because you first gave me ur unconditional, thats why i want to share it.. thats why i am ready to take up the cross.. Your agape love, is what i will never forget...
Sorry, for doing what i did today.. perhaps, i'm not as perfect as i think i am... well i guess the truth is, i still need to grow in many areas..
You are
You AreYou are the love of my life
You are the hope that I cling to
You mean more than this world to me
I wouldn't trade You for silver or gold
I wouldn't trade You for riches untold
You are
You are my everything
I couldn't take one step without You
I could never go on
I couldn't live one day without You
I don't have the strength
To make it on my own
Until the world stops turning
Until the stars fade from the sky
Until the sun stops rising
I'll need You in my life
And here's the reason why
You are
You are my everything
Its not just a song, its a song from my heart
Sch
alright.. so today is pretty much a monotonous day in school with the usual lectures and tutorial..Well, i did learn quite abit in my tutorial.. however i have been dozing off in my lectures...
oh i'm beginning to admire Lester Lim.. his history zhai man !!haha.. he's able to fill the whole white board with red marker ink linking and explaining the SEA political infrastructure clearly in 1h !! Oh and i think i mastered how to do AQ already.. though not perfect.. i think i'll be able to pass the next one =)
been dozing off in, i think, all of my lectures today =/ haha maybe i should start sleeping early..
Tmr gona have steamboat !! hope it will be fun and filled with a great pressence of fellowship..
Lalala~
Lala !!! Alright.. Tueday is coming... one more thing to be done... and lots of concidering to do ?? not sure.. but well.. i'll see if its according to God's plan.. haha.. all of my days, every breath that i take, i'll make sure its for you.. I'll make sure i'm living for You.. God, give me a clear indication.. what's ur plan..
Marcus Loke
Marcus Loke ! my First every shepherd.. well this post is, obviously, specially dedicated to him! Alright.. I'm really grateful for what he had done.. how he have really pour a bucket of blood to inspire me to start serving.. =) Well, i would say that he is the one, along with God, that help me find my life purpose.. I remember how a joke I was when i started out in Church.. haha it is he who help mould me.. help teach and correct me... who trusted me.. who entrusted a sheep to me.. who encouraged me.. who gave his all for me.. who go all out to break my leg, to prevent me from jumping down the cliff.. it is he whom teach me to be a world changer.. I think, without his effort, I don't know where am I or what i will be doing... If he had not planted the seed.. and slowly and conscientiously water the seed, i would not be here.. if he had gave up on me.. i wouldn't be here... I kinda owe me life to him uhh hhaahah... but.. really greatful.. Thank God for you marcus.. u have indeed SAVED my whole eternity when you brought me to know GOd...
Hey.. lets serve and give our best okay.. Of course, its hard but.. lets not give up or be discouraged !! I WANA SEE YOU IN HEAVEN... IF NOT I WILL KILL U AHHAHAAH....
Reflections
hmm.. been awhile since i reflect upon my life.. alright.. so i got 3Us for my block test and my 2nd highest subject is actually 41 marks.. haha.. Life pretty much been.. well eventful and monotonous at the same time.. My emotions went on a high last week.. haha.. hmm block test is coming 70+ days.. UCG is on thur.. and MCG is on friday.. hmmmmm... i don't know what to blog about.. i just want to type.. oh yar.. haha someone.. i think Haresh from class told me that everyone thinks i am crappy hahah !! oh wells..... hmm PM tmr morning.. really tired.. but. i don't feel like sleeping.. hmmm i really love the night.. oh and i'm starting to love listening to radio and doing hw at the same time.. nice..
Oh most importantly.. i went jamming with the NE band last sunday.. haha realised how much i missed marcus.. how much, i still hmmm love (not gay okay) him hahaa... and saw joseph lin * aquila on monday night.. whoa haha really missed the times... hmmm, been really long since i sit down and talk to my close friends.. haha.. i miss those times man !!!!!!!! Church camp !! come soon.. lol and i realised that church camp ended only like 5-7 weeks ago ? time seems to be really slow......
shine
Matthew 5:16 (New International Version)16In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
God... this is difficult... i can't do this on my own.. i NEED You
Single Mindedness
Single MindednessThis is sth i really learnt today.. Time to stop crapping and chiong for God... Realised that i've been talking about.... hahaah.... lately... instead of God... Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks... well guess i have not really been thinking about God.. or rather, God haven't been in the center of my life this few days.... Hmmmmmmm... Anyways.. today have been an.. eventful day ? lol.. hiaz... an Emotional rollercoaster haha..... Hiaz.. so much things.. and i'm porbably going to ssp.. so much things to worry about.. hiaz......
