Frozen in my memories~

The Thoughts

I guess its been long since i blogged about my feelings.. maybe is cause of the time constrains of school that i can't stay up late to emo... haha.. but anw, so here goes a rare post about my random thoughts..

Anyway, i really realised that being a careleader really isn't easy.. its like.. being a shepeherd of X number of people in the cg altogether..Nowonder the Bible said that those who desire to be an overseer desire a noble task...

I guess i've not really been a great clown; to able to juggle my time well.. week:1 after q2 got study alot! but never meet my people.. week2: got meet up, but never study.. haha.. oh well.. like what we learn in econs.. opportunity cost... forgoing the next best alternative... too bad we can't trade knowledge..

Sometimes, I just feel really sucky cause of my inabilities.. In studies, sometimes, or rather many times, I would reach a state where my brain just can't take in anymore information.. kinda sucky to have limitations... sometimes i just can't remember all the history stuff.. i can't read the lecture notes fast enough.. produce a reasonable and detailed essay with many perspective or even form a proper sentences as i write... Well in Ministry.. i guess its kinda worse... its really hard to help people to grow and to realise their potential... maybe now i can feel a little of how teachers feel... After all, like in saw4, we cna't really help people who don't wana help themselves.. but its really difficult to convince... and sadly, the only thing i can do is show care and concern.... =/

Well, i guess everything would turn out well at the end of the day.. it always does.. right... But i'm really damn tired... REally draining.. I guess.. one of the worse feeling in the world is that u want to do something yet you can't.. You desire so much, yet.........

In the final analysis....... (sounds so econs) i guess.. i can only commit my hopes to GOd.. So many people i'm praying for...

I went back to the familiar beach..
The place where I can find peace..
A place where I can enjoy the quiet breeze
and the starry night..

Though I can't stay here forever..
for morning would come..
But may this short moment
remain deep withine my memories..

Labels: Incompetence..

posted by Joseph @ 1:57 AM